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DREAMWEAVER
By Elizabeth Thunder-Howard
New York Native
Okay, to be a writer, you have to write. That’s a given. So, what do writers write about? Who
inspires them? What do they need to do to begin? When do they know when to end? Where do I
find help when I need it? How can they sit in front of their computers for hours, days on end?
Enough with all the questions, it was time to just do it. I sat down in late October of last year and
started with a character that was in the back of my mind. A strong, Native American woman who
knew it was time to leave her abusive, drug addicted husband before he kills her. She starts out on
her new life path alone, a victim of domestic abuse. She never labels herself as a victim. She
prefers to be called a survivor.
I wrote when my daughter napped in the afternoons. I wrote after my family had long gone to
sleep, up until the wee hours of the morning. I wrote whenever I got the chance. There were
times I developed a writer’s block and would wander through the apartment I shared with my
boyfriend, Damien, and our daughter Kyleigh, frustrated and edgy. I kept pushing myself night
and day, never knowing how my story would end or even how. On January 1st, I started my 2004
resolutions with monthly goals instead of the usual yearly ones. My first resolution was to finish
my book by the end of January. I finished two weeks ahead of schedule. I was completely ecstatic.
I printed my completed manuscript out, holding it in my hands; it left me feeling so…hopeful.
I’ve always had enormous dreams, and spent most of my time doing just that, dreaming. I wanted
recognition for my writing. I wanted praise, to hear anyone tell me that I had talent. That I was
going places. That I was going to be someone. Well, after nearly two generations of waiting. I
realized what I had been doing wrong. I hadn’t done a thing to warrant any recognition. No one
was going to knock on my door with a huge check in hand to tell me that I was going to be the
next Steven King. I was going to have to start at the bottom of the pile and work my way to the
top. It will be hard work, and there will be people who’ll tell me that I can’t do it, that I have zero
talent. They will say that I have two things against me, one that I’m a woman, two that I’m a
minority.
Well, I’m ready. I have my manuscript in one hand and a tomahawk in the other. I’m more than
ready to take on the world, alone if I have to. Two days ago, I sent out two letters to two agents
in hopes of getting my work published. If I don’t hear anything within the next two weeks, I’ll
send out two more. I’ll do it until someone reads my work and agrees that I do have the talent. I
already know that I’ve got the drive and the determination. I’ve started on my own life path,
doing instead of dreaming, and you know what? It feels incredible.
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