Top 10 things to do to telemarketers!

10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you

asked

because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems;

my

arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."

9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell

their

name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it

is

located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about

their

company for as long as necessary.

8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have

you

been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as

she

tries to figure out where the h-l she could know you from.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends

Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any

friends

....would you be my friend?"

6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for

bankruptcy

and you could sure use some money.

5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if

they

could bring you a case of beer and some chips.

4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you.

When

they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your

credit

card number to a complete stranger.

3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if

they

will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When

the

telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you

say

"I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The

telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Say

good bye

- and Hang up.

2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.

"Come

on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

1. And first and foremost: Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you

want

to write EVERY WORD down