Women are like
guns, keep one around long enough and your going to
want to shoot it.
Why is a
Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't
even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
Did you hear they
finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter? Yeah, it fits right over
her mouth.
Why do women have
smaller feet than men ? So they can stand closer to
the sink
How do you know
when a woman's about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with
"A man once told me...."
How do you fix a
woman's watch? You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
I date this girl
for two years -- and then the nagging starts: "I wanna
know your name..."
If your dog is
barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you
let in first? The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
One golfer tells
another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!"
The other replies: "GREAT trade!"
What are two
reasons why women don't mind their own business?
1) No mind.
2) No business.
The last fight was
my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" and I said,
"Dust!"
