Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't
realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally
becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que
(bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce,
chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned
everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes (blond joks)
n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a
church.
Clothes dryer (klozedri*yer)
n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a
convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee)
n. The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v.To walk up and
down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee
list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then
forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to
create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See
"Magician."
Hardware Store (hard*war stor)
n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime
soon.
Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours
of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."
Lipstick (lip*stik)
n.On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your
mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and
neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and
slide.
Patience (pa*shens)
n.The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and
children. See also "tranquilizers."
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*prufmas*kar*ah)
n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to
remove it.
Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you
have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself
lucky to get a card
