How to speak about women and be politically correct

 

Submitted Humor

 

  1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

 

  2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY

APPRECIATIVE."

 

  3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

 

  4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE

  INFORMATION SUPER HIGHWAY."

 

  5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED

COMPANION."

 

  6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

 

  7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY

  INCONVENIENCED."

 

  8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

 

  9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

 

  10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

 

  11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - she is "PECTORALLY

SUPERIOR."

 

  12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

 

 

 

 HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

 

  1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN

STORAGE FACILITY."

 

  2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

 

  3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

 

  4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

 

  5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL

DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

 

  6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY

  HORIZONTAL."

 

  7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of

  "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

 

  8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

 

  9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP

CHALLENGED."

 

  10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

 

  11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's

"REAR CLEAVAGE."