WHO IS JACK SCHITT
For some time many of us have wondered just who
is Jack Schitt? We
find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't
know Jack Schitt!'
Well,
thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now
respond in an
intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe
Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep
N. Schitt, Inc. They
had
one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The
deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt,
Fulla Schitt, Bull
Schitt,
and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt
married Dumb Schitt, a
high
school dropout.
After being married 15 years,
Jack and Noe Schitt
divorced.
Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and
because her kids were
living with
them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She
was then known as Noe
Schitt
Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and
they produced a son
with a
rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six
children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were
inseparable throughout
childhood and subsequently married the Happens
brothers in a dual
ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper
announced the Schitt-Happens
nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg,
Byrd,
and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour
the world. He
recently
returned from Italy with his new Italian bride,
Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack
Schitt,' you can correct
them.
Sincerely,
Crock O.
Schitt |
