You Have To Love Indian Women...
...For their ability
to play rez ball, take care of 20 kids, and manage to
make sandwiches at the same time when at a basketball tournament.
...For their ability
to make a rez car look good.
...For their ability to keep sweat pants
fashionable no matter what the occasion.
...For their ability to make that all-tourney
T-shirt and shorts into the one and only Indian "swimsuit."
...For their ability to stay out all Friday
night at the Indian casino and still hit the Saturday yard sales.
...For their ability to give one
"look" at their man to shut him up.
...For their ability to somehow get her
husband to ask for some of his money out of his own paycheck.
You know your ex is rezzed
out if.....
1. You broke up with him
five years ago and he still tries to fight guys who you are just talking to.
2. He broke the windows on your car because he
thought that your cousin who was cruising around with you was your new man.
3. When you left him he
had a bon fire with all of your clothes.
4. He tries to pay you back by snagging on all
of your cousins’sisters, and your best friend.
5. He blames his drinking binge on your break
up.
6. He comes to your house drunker than hell
trying to get back together.
7. He tries to cause trouble by telling your
new man that you and him were together and that you
still love each other.
8. He tries to cause
trouble by telling your new man that you're really pregnant with his baby.
9. Even a restraining order can't keep him
away.
10. He makes his mom and grandma come talk to
you about dropping charges.
11. He comes to reminisce about the good ol' days at 4am when his "wife" is 7 mos. pregnant!
12. He drives by your house every morning to
honk and wave at you and the kids, he "never" visits.
13. He asks the kids if you are seeing anyone
right now.
14. He has his mom/dad/sisters tell you how
unhappy he is because his wife can't do the things that you can, such as COOK
Does this sound like
anyone that you've snagged out or who has snagged you?
Loving Indian Style - How to tell if it's
luv "NDN style"
1. He adds you to his
welfare cheque
2. He'll buy pampers for your baby, even if
the baby ain't his
3. He lets you give him hickies
even when you've been together for awhile
4. He hawks his rifle to bail you out of the drunk tank
5. He don't try to
check out any of your friends or cuzin's
6. He'll hang onto you while walkin' round the powwow or feast
7. He spends his firefighting check on you
8. He tries to find a job, even when it's not
fire season so he can buy you stuff
9. He tells you that you have chokecherry
eyes & bannock thighs!
10. He tells you that he luvs
you, even when he's sober!
Jokes
There was
these three guys fighting over this beautiful woman. They were all fighting
right, and so the woman said "whoever can make the best sentence out of
liver and cheese that's the one I will marry!".
So the first guy said " I like liver but I hate
cheese". Then the second guy said " I hate
liver but I like cheese". Then those two started fighting. The then the Ojibwe said " Hey liver alone
cheese mine!".