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| Red Lake Net News Michael Barrett P. O. Box 80 Redby, MN 56670 Telephone: 218-679-5995 |
| They're Back! Those wnderful Church Bulletins!
Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: (Summer, 2006 Release) -------------------------- The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. -------------------------- The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus." -------------------------- Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King. -------------------------- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. -------------------------- The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict. -------------------------- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you. -------------------------- Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. -------------------------- Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. -------------------------- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. -------------------------- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. -------------------------- The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy." -------------------------- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. -------------------------- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. -------------------------- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. -------------------------- Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. -------------------------- Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. -------------------------- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. -------------------------- The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. -------------------------- Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. -------------------------- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. -------------------------- This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. -------------------------- Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done. -------------------------- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. -------------------------- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. -------------------------- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. -------------------------- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. -------------------------- The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours." |