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Red Lake Net News
Michael Barrett
P. O. Box 80
Redby, MN  56670
Telephone:  218-679-5995
HEADLINES OF 2006


Crack Found on Governor's Daughter   
       Imagine that!

Something Went Wrong in  Jet Crash, Expert Says
       No, really?

Police Begin Campaign to  Run Down Jaywalkers  
        Now that's taking things a bit far!

Is There a Ring of Debris  
around Uranus?

       Whaaat??

Panda Mating Fails;  
Veterinarian Takes  Over

        What a guy!  

Miners Refuse to Work  
after Death

        No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!

Juvenile Court to Try  
Shooting Defendant

        See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace
        I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile      You think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
       Who would have thought!  

Enfield ( London ) Couple  Slain; police  Suspect Homicide  
        They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New  Bridges 
       You mean there's something stronger  than duct tape?!
  
Man Struck By Lightning:  
Faces Battery Charge
  
      He probably IS the battery charge

New Study of Obesity  Looks for Larger  Test Group
        Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft 
        That's what he gets for eating  those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
        Tastes like chicken?
   
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
        Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

Hospitals are Sued by  
7 Foot Doctors
 
        Boy, are they  tall!

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead  
      Did I read that sign right?