THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO A RED LAKE COP

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas, however)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 120 mph to keep up with me. Those Fords handle that speed? Good job!

5. Are you Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary–if it wasn’t for people like me there would be no need for you.

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee guy,....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

13. I was in a hurry to get to Gillie’s before they closed.

14. I’m on my way to the Bootlegger’s house–need anything?

15. I”m just coming from the Bootlegger’s house–half price to you.

16.

Got any more–email them to rlnn.com