Bush and Kerry

Would if neither Bush nor Kerry had enough votes to win the last election and it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the final winner. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the manly way to settle things.

The candidate that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins. The contest would take place on a remote and cold lake in Alaska. There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for counting and verification.

At the end of the first day, Kerry returns to the starting line and he has 10 fish. Soon, Bush returns and has zero fish.

Well, everyone assumes he is just having another bad hair day or something and, hopefully, he will catch up the next day.

At the end of the 2nd day Kerry comes in with 20 fish and Bush comes in again with none that evening,

Dick Cheney gets together secretly with Bush and says, "I think Kerry is a lowlife cheating son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see if he is cheating in any way."

 The next night, after Kerry comes back with 50 fish, Cheney says to Bush, "Well, what about it - is Kerry cheating?'"

 "He sure the hell is," Bush says. "The son of a gun is cutting' holes in the ice.