Staffers who survived Red lake shootings struggle to move on

By Associated Press

RED LAKE, Minn. (AP) - Keith Lussier is reassured by the measures taken to bolster security at Red Lake High School. He believes his students will be safe.

But the cultural counselor is still shaken by the March 21 shootings here. Jeff Weise, 16, killed a security guard, a teacher and five students before shooting himself. The FBI determined he fired 45 times. He also killed his grandfather and his grandfather's companion before heading to school.

Lussier, who did not attend last week's orientation at the high school and does not expect to be at the school this week, is among those who witnessed the horrific shootings in March and survived face-to-face encounter with the gunman.

"I want to go back,'' Lussier said quietly. After a pause, he added: "I don't know if I can.''

Since the shootings, Red Lake schools have improved its locks, communication systems and put in a rotation of armed police officers at the district. But staffers like Lussier wonder if those measures are enough to get the high school back to the business of learning.

Lussier, along with math teacher Missy Dodds and security guard Lee Ann Grant, applied for extended paid medical leaves beyond what the district would normally provide, hoping to return in January. But they requests were denied.

"Trust me, I wish I could go back,'' said math teacher Missy Dodds, 30. "I love my students, but I agree that it's probably not the wisest thing for me to do right now.''

Students were killed in Dodds' classroom, and she still remembers the scene where Weise pointed his gun at her and pulled the trigger. The gun was empty.

Even though Dodds returned when classes resumed in the spring and helped with graduation, doctors diagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder and advised her not to return to work for now.

Leah Cook, a 15-year-old student in Dodds' room during the shootings, saw three of her closest friends die. She said she barely sleeps anymore and can't be alone.

"I don't want to go back,'' Cook said, tears rolling down her cheeks. "And if Miss Dodds isn't returning, I'm definitely not coming back.''

Said Dodds, who has taught at Red Lake for three years, "That just breaks my heart. It's all surreal still, what those poor babies had to go through. It's not fair. And when it was over, they were trying to help those shot, carrying them out, holding each other.

"They showed how great they are.''

In Grant's case, she spent her 21st birthday in a psychiatric ward at a Thief River Falls hospital last week. She told her mother that spirits told her in a dream that reporting to the district's staff orientation wouldn't be easy. Weise's spirit still roamed the halls. She would be afraid.

Grant said she saw Weise ram a Red Lake squad car into the high school's front entrance and shoot her colleague, Derrick Brun, on March 21, a Monday.

The security guard ran, and some in the community ridiculed her for that, she said. But Weise stalked her as he was shooting, she said. She called 911, and authorities credit her for helping an operator tell officers where Weise was in the school.

Now Grant dreads Mondays and rainy days. When thunder strikes, Grant hears gunshots and panics.

"I just have these moments when I lose it,'' Grant said. "I can't help it.''

Red Lake district officials said shortly after the shootings that staff members requested extended leave would be granted it. But the district's attorney, Mary Kay Klein, wrote to Lussier, Grant and Dodds that established policies limit such leave to about 35 days.

Superintendent Stuart Desjarlait said last week that district employees may either use accumulated sick leave or request unpaid leaves that go beyond the district's policy. He also pointed out that counselors at Bemidji State University will continue to be available to staff members seeking help.

But Mark Rodgers of Bemidji, part of a team of attorneys representing Lussier, Dodds and Grant, said the district may be going back on its word.

"I think there is a perception that there has been a change in the district's position, which is a legitimate concern to us,'' Rodgers said.

School board member, Kathryn Beaulieu, said Dodds' situation is something the board has to revisit.

"I believe this is an extenuating circumstance and an exception should be considered in her case to give her time to heal,'' Beaulieu said.

Dodds continues to see a counselor, the math teacher said, and she has returned to the high school just twice since graduation.

"If I had the strength, I would go back because I love the kids and there's a special bond between so many of the kids and myself,'' she said. "That's why I go to work.''